How to Accept Your Body

Body acceptance is a challenging practice, given the diet culture world we live in. With the dominant belief system in our culture, of course you would struggle to accept your body! Here are a few reasons why and some tips for how to work towards body acceptance.

Reasons why you struggle with accepting your body

Your family of origin narrative

The narratives we learn from our families are extremely impactful. If you grew up in an environment where your mom was always dieting, it makes sense that you would struggle with accepting your body. Maybe the people in your family even bonded over going on a diet together, so your young brain learned to associate dieting and body hatred as a form of connection. Even if no one directly told you your body was wrong or bad, children learn through observation and the behavior of authority figures. Or maybe someone in your family did criticize your weight or size and made you feel like your body was not good enough.

We live in diet culture

Some of us are fortunate enough to grow up in family environments that celebrate and encourage body diversity. However, western culture has very specific narratives around which bodies are accepted. According to Christy Harrison, MPH, RD, diet culture is, “A system of beliefs that worships thinness and equates it to health and moral virtue.” Harrison says, diet culture “oppresses people who don't match up with its supposed picture of “health,” which disproportionately harms women, femmes, trans folks, people in larger bodies, people of color, and people with disabilities, damaging both their mental and physical health.” Amen to that. Thinner bodies are perceived as healthy and attractive, while larger bodies are seen as unhealthy and wrong. There is a growing body of research that has determined weight is not a direct determinate of health. In spite of this, our culture still celebrates and overly represents thin bodies in the media. We’re much more likely to see thin bodies in movies and TV shows, especially when it comes to engaging in positive experiences like healthy relationships and career success.

You’ve experienced trauma

It’s common to think of trauma as a specific event, such as a car accident or extreme weather event. Trauma is much more broad than that. Many experts agree the pandemic is a collective traumatic experience. According to Resmaa Menakem, trauma is anything that is “too much, too fast, too soon.” Trauma disconnects you from your body in order to survive. However, it’s hard to accept a body that you’re not connected to. In my experience as an eating disorder therapist, many clients who have experienced trauma struggle with disordered eating, body dysmorphia, and body acceptance. It’s common to feel like your body has betrayed you, especially if you are suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms like flashbacks, hypervigilance, anxiety, or depression. Healing trauma through gentle modalities such as Internal Family Systems or EMDR can help you reestablish a relationship with your body.

Tips for Body Acceptance

Acknowledge your internalized fat phobia

If you grew up in western culture, chances are you experience internalized fat phobia. We’re constantly fed information about how being in a larger body is dangerous. We’re told we’ll never find happiness or life satisfaction if we’re not thin. You might even notice being fearful or judgmental of people in larger bodies. Practice acknowledging your internalized fat phobia. It makes sense that it’s there. You can’t change anything you aren’t aware of. See if you can start to notice your thoughts without judging them.

Understand your own body story

Reflect on your family narratives around body acceptance. When did you first realize there was something wrong about your body? If you have a history of dieting, how old were you when you went on your first diet? How did members of your family relate to their bodies?

Engage in joyful movement

One of my favorite ways to work towards body acceptance is to practice moving my bodies in a joyful way. Joyful movement is moving your body without the intention of changing the size or shape of your body. It also means movement without the intent to burn calories. For me, that usually looks like walks and gentle yoga. Sometimes I get excited about barre classes and riding my bike, but sometimes not! Use this check in question before you engage in movement: Would I still do this activity if I were positive it would not change my body?

Gratitude Practice

It might sound cheesy, but practicing gratitude for your body actually works if you want to accept your body. Ours bodies do so much for us. Take 5 minutes out of your day to write for 5 things that you’re grateful for in relation to your body. For example, the ability to see the sunset or to cuddle with your dog. If you’ve given birth, practice connecting with gratitude for your body’s ability to create and birth a human.

Practice mindfulness and challenge negative thoughts

Take a few minutes every so often to notice your thoughts. You can even do it right now. Pause for a few seconds, close your eyes, and breathe. Notice any thoughts that are present. Noticing thoughts helps you get some separation from them. When you get some space from your thoughts, you can acknowledge them for what they are - just thoughts! We have millions of thoughts each day, and not all of them are true. If you notice negative thoughts about your body, gently challenge them. Writing in a journal is a great tool for this practice. I find it helpful to write down negative thoughts on one side of the page, and write down the challenge thought on the other side.

Be gentle with yourself

Remember that disliking your body or feeling like there’s something wrong with your body is a learned behavior. When we are aware of our thoughts and behaviors, we can start to learn and integrate new ones. Negative body image impacts people of all ages, genders, and sizes. However, internalized fat phobia is most harmful to people in larger bodies. Body acceptance is a practice. If you’re new to working towards accepting your body, be gentle with yourself.

I hope these tips for how to accept your body were helpful! If you’re struggling with how to accept your body or recovering from an eating disorder, I can help. Head over to my contact page to set up a free consultation.